With two words, Fortnite Season 9 ends a glorious era of aviation

May 9, 2019
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Season 9 will be great, I am sure. The new Tilted looks like it’s taken inspiration from Sunset Overdrive, which is always money in the bank, and it’s just nice to see shiny buildings rising out of the volcano-ravaged earth. But with two words, the patch notes for the new season have broken my heart and ended a glorious era of aviation – or rather a glorious era of aviation stupidity.

“Vaulted balloons.”

Man, wasn’t it great to go for a float in Fortnite? I loved those packs of balloons that lofted you into the air, but only for a while, because a balloon would always pop at high altitude and so you had to inflate another, and then another, and eventually you knew you would run out. I loved balloons because they gave you the sky, but not for very long. I loved them because you could pick and choose your targets from aloft, while in turn being the ultimate target for everyone down below. I loved them because in a game of speedy movement, balloons put you on a different timescale to everyone else. No more jagged jumps and dashes and turns. Instead, just slow, moon-base hops. I loved that tug of gravity as you fired up a balloon and then jumped, the air around you suddenly changed, the planet’s hold diminished.

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