It’s no secret that Hidetaka Miyazaki loves poison swamps as much as we love his games. His self-confessed masochistic streak compels him to keep adding them. Even Dark Souls 2, which wasn’t directed by Miyazaki, didn’t give us respite from these sludgy slimepits. If it’s a Soulsborne: Ring Dies Twice game from From Software, it’ll have at least one poison swamp.
That got the old brain cogs a-whirring. If all of these games have poison swamps and the big man behind them thinks they’re really important, it’s obvious that we can figure out which one is the objectively best game by rating the poison swamps! Folks are always banging on about objective game rankings, so this is just giving them what they want. Genius, right? No, I wasn’t intensely sleep deprived from cramming in too much Elden Ring while working on this article, why do you ask?
